Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about folks from Texas…makes you fell kinda proud to live here!

If someone in a Lowe’s store offers you assistance and they don’t work there, you may live in Texas ;

If you’ve worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Texas ;

If you’ve had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Texas ;

If “Vacation” means going anywhere south of Dallas for the weekend, you may live in Texas;

If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Texas;

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Texas ;

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Texas ;

If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Texas ;

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph — you’re going 80 and everybody’s passing you, you may live in Texas ;

If you find 60 degrees “a little chilly,” you may live in Texas ;

If you actually understand these jokes, and share them with all your Texas friends, you definitely live in Texas .

Here are some little known, very interesting facts about Texas .

1. Beaumont to El Paso : 742 miles
2. Beaumont to Chicago : 770 miles
3. El Paso is closer to California than to Dallas
4. World’s first rodeo was in Pecos , July 4, 1883.
5. The Flagship Hotel in Galveston is the only hotel in North America built over water.
6. The Heisman Trophy was named after John William Heisman who was the first full-time coach at Rice University in Houston .
7. Brazoria County has more species of birds than any other area in North America .
8. Aransas Wildlife Refuge is the winter home of North America ‘s only remaining flock of whooping cranes.
9. Jalapeno jelly originated in Lake Jackson in 1978.
10. The worst natural disaster in U.S . history was in 1900, caused by a hurricane, in which over 8,000 lives were lost on Galveston Island .
11. The first word spoken from the moon, July 20, 1969, was ” Houston .”
12. King Ranch in South Texas is larger than Rhode Island .
13. Tropical Storm Claudette brought a U.S. rainfall record of 43″ in 24 hours in and around Alvin in July of 1979.
14. Texas is the only state to enter the U.S. by TREATY, (known as the Constitution of 1845 by the Republic of Texas to enter the Union ) instead of by annexation. This allows the Texas Flag to fly at the same height as the U.S. Flag, and may divide into 5 states.
15. A Live Oak tree near Fulton is estimated to be 1500 years old.
16. Caddo Lake is the only natural lake in the state.
17. Dr Pepper was invented in Waco in 1885. There is no period in Dr Pepper.
18. Texas has had six capital cities: Washington -on- the Brazos, Harrisburg , Galveston , Velasco, West Columbia and Austin .
19. The Capitol Dome in Austin is the only dome in the U.S. which is taller than the Capitol Building in Washington DC (by 7 feet).
20. The name ” Texas ” comes from the Hasini Indian word “tejas” meaning friends. Tejas is not Spanish for Texas .
21. The State Mascot is the Armadillo (an interesting bit of trivia about the armadillo is they always have four babies. They have one egg, which splits into four, and they either have four males or four females.).
22. The first domed stadium in the U.S. was the Astrodome in Houston .

Cowboy’s Ten Commandments posted on the wall at Cross Trails Church in Fairlie , Texas :

(1) Just one God.
(2) Honor yer Ma & Pa.
(3) No telling tales or gossipin’.
(4) Git yourself to Sunday meeting.
(5) Put nothin’ before God.
(6) No foolin’ around with another fellow’s gal.
(7) No killin’.
(8) Watch yer mouth.
(9) Don’t take what ain’t yers.
(10) Don’t be hankerin’ for yer buddy’s stuff

Jeff Foxworthy on Texans
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3 thoughts on “Jeff Foxworthy on Texans

  • I am driving through Texas right now. Have spent lots of time in this state and have numerous family members living here, including my two brothers. People seem to like Austin a lot and they say San Antinio is nice. That said, I’ve never understood all the hype. (Now, the hype almost always comes from Texans themselves; more on that shortly.) Anybody who’s driven across Texas will say it is never-ending and mind-numbingly boring. As I’m typing this I’m moving up the pan handle and simply cannot wait to get out, where the terrain is dynamic and interesting and not flat and homogenous. Yes, the people are generally very friendly, but so are people in plenty of other states. Perhaps Texans don’t acknowledge this because so few make it out of their state alive. I don’t know. And I don’t mean to dog Texas. It’s just that all the conceit one hears from Texans makes one wonder if they really know their state well enough (Texas has highest home insurance, highest rates of teen pregnancy, has the worst child homelessness [330,000!], worst health insurance coverage, the worst CO2 polluter, the list goes on.) Not to say this is a competition and Texas comes in last. I know that. You know that. Some Texans, though, do not.

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